


It Feels Good To Finally Be Understood

by Nikka001



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Confrontations, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Implied Relationships, Jealous Amanda Rollins, Lawyer Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Minor Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins, Protective Katriona "Kat" Azar Tamin, Protectiveness, Sweet Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikka001/pseuds/Nikka001
Summary: They never saw each other as friends. She never wanted to see him as a friend or get to know him in really any way. But then she gets a small peek behind the armor he wears and maybe, just maybe, she's finally starting to understand exactly who he is.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. & Katriona "Kat" Azar Tamin, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	It Feels Good To Finally Be Understood

**Author's Note:**

> I keep seeing Kat getting a lot of hate online and honestly, I'm not here for it. She's a great character who really deserves so much more and I for one can't wait to see where they take her character next. That being said, I'd love to see more of her relationship/friendship with Carisi, so here is my little take on what sort of thing I'd love to see happen with them. I love the idea of her being the one to call out the rest of the squad on all their BS so...yeah. This is what I came up with. 
> 
> If you aren't fans of Kat, you don't have to read. That's up to you.
> 
> But, to all of those who do choose to read this little fic I wrote up for all of you, I sincerely hope you enjoy it. It took a lot of time and I'm very pleased with it. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it just as much as I do.
> 
> -Annika

* * *

Kat spots him when she first enters the building; sitting alone at the bar nursing a beer with his sleeves rolled up and elbows resting on the bartop, head hung low. She takes a deep breath as she approaches the bar, taking the empty seat next to him. He stays silent but if the sudden shift in his posture is anything to go by, then he knows she’s there. 

She sets her jacket on the stool next to her and waves down the bartender. “Glass of red, please.” She smiles at the young redhead who smiles back as she turns to pour out a glass of red wine for the officer. 

“You know, you did good today, Officer.”

She turns in her seat to face Carisi, his head now lifted and staring at their reflection in the glass behind the bar. 

“Yeah? Was that a compliment, Counselor?” She raises a brow at him, smirking when he turns to her and gives her a short smile.

“More like an observation.”

She scoffs as he turns back to the front and takes a swig of his beer while the bartender, Amy, sets down a glass in front of her. 

“So”—she swirls the wine around in her glass, eyes focused on the red liquid—“you often come here to drink alone, or is today just a special occasion?” 

He takes another swig. “Both.”

Kat takes a sip of her wine before pressing on for more information. “So then is today a special occasion or just you being a loner?”

Exhaling dramatically and tightening his grip around the bottle of beer, Carisi turns to face Kat fully this time. He stares at her for a moment before he lets out a huff of laughter and brings a hand up to drag down his face. “Today is...a little bit of both I guess. Seven years ago today, I started my first shift at SVU.” He smiles sadly down at the bottle in his hands, his leg shaking on the step of the barstool. 

She’s surprised by the announcement, never realizing how long he’d actually been with the team before becoming an ADA.

“Congratulations then. That’s awesome.”

He nods. “Yeah. I guess it is.”

She knows there’s something else. “There’s something else you’re not saying, right? I can tell there’s something else. Out with it. What’s going on?”

When he looks up at her, she can see the sadness in his eyes and it worries her. She may not know him that well, but she does know that that is not a look normally associated with the prosecutor. 

He clears his throat and keeps his voice low, “It’s nothing really, I just—well, I invited the rest of the squad out for drinks, ya know to celebrate, but I guess they had better plans. It’s fine, though. It’s not that big of a deal, not really.”

“Carisi—”

“No, no, it’s fine,” he cuts her off and drags a hand down his face again, no doubt trying to rid himself of the tears that she acts like she didn’t see forming in his eyes. “It’s okay. I get it. I’m not really part of the team anymore and I’ve gotta learn to live with that. I mean, you said it yourself right, that uh, you can’t see how I was ever a cop. And ya know what, maybe I wasn’t. Not really, anyway.”

She tries to think of something to say but her brain short circuits. She knew he was hiding something but she didn’t imagine it’d be anything like that. Had she known that what she’d said had really gotten to him that bad, she definitely would’ve made sure to apologize. 

When she finally thinks of something, she opens her mouth but he’s already standing and pulling on his jacket.

“Look, I’m sorry to bother you with all of my issues. You don’t need any of that.” He lets out a breath and places a twenty on the bar. “Thank you though for uh, for listening. Have a good night, Kat. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Before she realizes what’s happening, Carisi is already across the bar and at the front door. Panicking, not feeling comfortable letting him leave on his own in the state he’s in, Kat gathers her jacket, throws back the last of her wine, and hurries up and out of the bar after him. 

She manages to catch him just before he rounds the corner heading downtown, grabbing his arm to keep slow him down so she can walk beside him.

“I know I don’t know you that well and that we may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but I am a really good listener. If you need to talk, Carisi, I’m here.”

He holds up his hands to wave her off but she stops him before he can say anything.

“It’s fine, alright? I’ve got nothing going on and I’ve also got a really expensive stash of booze back at my place I’ve been saving for this exact moment.”

“Kat, it’s not necessary, really. I’m fine.” He starts walking away but she’s not letting him go that easily. 

She speeds up to walk with him, smiling to herself when he slows a little to walk at her pace, even going so far as to offer her his arm. She doesn’t even hesitate to hook her arm around his as they head off in the direction of her apartment. 

***

When Kat arrives at work the next morning—later than usual—she can’t even argue with the Captain when she asks if the young officer is hungover. She nods grimly but tries to explain that she isn’t as hungover as she could be and that she’s still able to function properly. 

Benson eyes her warily, seemingly deciding how to reprimand the young officer, but her focus is suddenly drawn to another late arrival behind Kat.

“Counselor,” Olivia says slowly, her eyes taking in his disheveled appearance and bloodshot eyes. “I see you’ve finally decided to join us this morning. Our meeting was an hour ago, if you forgot.”

Carisi clears his throat and adjusts the knot of the tie he’d thrown on in a hurry that morning as Kat moves aside so Benson can step forward, “Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. I was um”—he glances quickly at Kat who ducks her head to avoid his gaze—“nothing. It’s nothing. I just slept late.”

Olivia narrows her gaze at the Prosecutor. “Late? Carisi, in the six years that I’ve known you, you have never once slept past your alarm. You wanna try again?”

“Well, you see—”

“Seven years.” Kat interrupts before he gets a chance to say anything else. 

Olivia turns to the officer with one brow raised and her lips parted. “What?”

Kat swallows past the lump in her throat and tugs on the bottom of her jacket sleeves trapped between her palms and fingers. “You uh, you said you’ve known the Counselor for six years when really you’ve known him for seven.” 

“Hold up, what are you talking about?” Amanda pipes up as she rises from her seat and comes around her desk to stand near the Captain with her arms folded across her chest. 

Looking to Carisi for support but only seeing the flush that’s made its way up his neck, Kat takes a breath and stands taller as she releases her sleeves and matches Amanda’s stance with her arms folded. “Carisi’s been with you for seven years. Not six. His seven-year anniversary was yesterday. August 6th, 2014 was the day that he joined SVU and he’s been here for everything yet none of you were there on the one day that mattered to him.”

“Kat, stop.” Carisi steps forward, moving to stand in between the three of them and keep Kat out of their potential line of fire at her harsh words. “It’s fine. It doesn’t matter anymore, alright? I’m over it now. Just drop it.”

Kat wants to protest, to give them all another piece of her mind, but one look from him and she backs down. She doesn’t really want to make this any worse for him than it already is but, after hearing everything he had to say last night, she can’t help but want to stand up for him. Even if he is more experienced than her. 

“Hold on,” Amanda says suddenly, drawing all of their attention to her, “since when did you two get so friendly? Kat, I thought you couldn’t stand Carisi.”

“I never said that,” Kat defends herself, stepping around Carisi and closer to Amanda. “I just didn’t understand him, that’s all.”

Amanda scoffs. “So what, you understand him now? Is that it?”

“Yeah. Actually, I do.”

“You barely even know him!” Amanda shouts and throws her hands up in the air while the others flinch from the callous laugh behind the words.

Olivia takes this brief pause as her shot and steps forward, holding her hands up between the two women and sending Amanda a look telling her to back down. “That’s enough, you two. This isn’t the time or the place.”

“Do you know him?” Kat asks quietly, drawing everyone’s eyes to her and even having Carisi step forward to place a hand on her elbow and try to pull her back. She brushes him off though, her eyes never leaving Amanda even as the woman narrows her eyes.

“What? Of course, I know him. We were partners longer than you’ve probably even been on the force. I know everything about him.”

Kat takes a deep breath and folds her arms across her chest. “So then you know how he felt after you blew up at him for leaving? You know how terrible it made him feel and how hard he’s been trying every day since to make it up to you?”

Amanda’s resolve falters and her eyes dart over to Sonny who’s now actively avoiding her gaze, before returning back to Kat’s stare. “I don’t—”

Kat cuts her off and takes a step forward. “You’ve all been so hard on him for moving to the DA’s office when all he did was finally put his career first. He finally found a way to move up in the world and make something of himself and all that you people can do is hate on him for it when we both know that had you been in his shoes, he would’ve been  _ nothing _ but supportive. He supports you in every single decision that you make because that’s the kind of person he is. I may not have understood that before, but I do now.”

Her chest is heaving from how much energy she put into that little speech and also a little from the fear that maybe she spoke up just a little too much. These people are her superiors after all. But she couldn’t help herself. After spending all of last night with him, talking about everything, she just couldn’t help but feel for him. He gives so much of himself and gets nothing in return. 

“Are you finished?” Amanda whispers, keeping her head turned away to avoid looking Kat in the eyes. 

Kat nods, opting to stay silent now, and Amanda turns around and stalks off towards the break room, the door slamming shut behind her. 

The rest of the squad room is silent, too silent for her liking really but she can’t do much about that. All she can do now is hope that she didn’t cause too much damage to the already fragile relationship that Carisi has with Rollins. She didn’t mean to be so harsh but, she was just trying to be honest. He wouldn’t let them know how he felt so she had to. Maybe it’d finally be the push to get him to talk to Rollins about everything. 

She thinks she might just be right when she sees Carisi follow after Amanda. He steps inside the break room and, even with the door closed, she can still hear Amanda’s muffled voice as she finally has the chance to speak. She’s not sure what exactly is being said but she does know that they must be on the right track when she sees Carisi pull Amanda into a hug, her face buried in his chest and his arms pulling her in close. 

Even as the captain ushers her into the office, Kat smiles at the former partners. At least something good might’ve come out of all of this craziness. Well, more than one something she figures. 

He texts her later that night and she can’t help the smile on her face as she lays in bed with Celine tucked into her side already fast asleep.

**10:22 PM - Carisi: We talked. I think we’re gonna be okay now. Thank you, Kat. Have a good night.**

It might be nice having a new friend after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys thought! I love hearing from all of you! 
> 
> -Annika
> 
> PS - Should I write something about what Rollisi talks about in the break room? Cause I can if anyone would want it.


End file.
